Jesseca Kusher

Jon Sherman day next to me, eating his lunch as I reviewed my senior film thesis. He told me it was too long. At over 14 minutes, I agreed– but in watching him watch my film I learned so much more than I ever could have learned reviewing my own footage.

It’s impossible to see the world through someone else’s eyes– and yet, the facial expressions of people when they think no one is watching really tell the tale.

When I screen this film in class, however– I’ll want to watch it myself instead of watching people’s faces. I haven’t had the chance to properly view it on the big screen. Jon tells me this is a dangerous decision. Instead of editing this project on a larger than life projection, I’ve been editing it on a computer screen. Instead of hearing it in surround sound, I’m hearing it through a pair of 10$ headphones I bought at the bookstore. Are these sacrifices or am I living with all too real realities? If I were to get a job editing in the real world, how often would I get to see the work on an enormous screen throughout the editing process? Likely not very much. Does that mean I should have taken better advantage of the resources we have here? Maybe.

No matter what happens, I am enormously proud of this project. It has made me grow as a person and as a director as it has pushed me. My on-set actor directing skills, my coordinating skills, my patience, and my sanity– what a wonderful final test. After this, I have no fear for comps. There is probably nothing else in my Kenyon career, other than the feature film itself, that has pushed and polished me as much as the river of my film. For that, I am eternally grateful.

Ultimately, I’m having a hard time telling people it’s done. They say things like, “Congratulations,” and, “Aren’t you relieved it’s over–” and I can’t help but respond that it’s not really over. I don’t know that it’ll be ever over– and that’s a rush and an artistic choice and the whole thing goes to chaos. But whatever I manage to squeak out in response, I am just so proud of my team and the project we accomplished. I have learned so much and I have loved every minute of it.